Berry Strange Times
by SllnaaEsh
Summary: Zombie Apocalypse Everyone is biting each other nowadays. Everyone is coping in their own ways. My girlfriend is coping the only way she knows how. Ridiculously.
1. Chapter 1

Of course it was Sam and Brittany. Everyone else panicked, cried, or stayed in fierce denial. But the blonde duo shared a knowing look once news got out that some people went crazy in New York and started biting people. It was like some amplified domino effect, because those people who were bitten just kept the momentum going and started biting people themselves. Biting is putting it lightly. They were straight up eating people right in Time Square. How fucked up is that? The city is so squashed (seriously, how can you even breathe when there are so many people?) that it only took a day for the damn place to be overrun by some crazed cannibals. The incubation period for this was ridiculously short. Like how long it takes Heroin to get to your brain kinda short. Shit's crazy. Then one day later people starting biting each other in Lima. By then, the Scooby gang was already here, safe and sound.

All because of Sam and Brittany. Apparently, Sam was way into conspiracy theories and monsters and strange phenomena. Kinda like Mulder accept way more geeky. So, Trouty mouth had these maps of lakes and the general layout of Lima with circles(color coded) around certain areas. And fucking lists! After her manic freak out, Berry looked like she was going to ravish the boy(not literally) once she saw his organization skills. Don't get me wrong. She wasn't into trouty at all. It's just that my hobbit gets all hot and bothered when things are ridiculously planned out. Ten minutes after, she pulled me into the nearest closet and showed me her appreciation. I had nothing to do with planning all that shit out, but hey, it worked for me. I had tried comforting her while she ranted on about never going to Broadway now. Then Sam goes and pulls out his geeky maps and she snaps out of her crazy just like that. She's insane, I swear.

The only problem was that the maps and plans were centered around Sam's old house. The Fabrays were a secondary choice, but since Quinn's mother hardly kicked her alcohol habit, all she had in her cupboards were bottles of vodka and gin. Minimal food. Everyone else opted for my place since it was the next biggest house, but I vehemently declined because I knew Berry had the biggest house of us all. They just hadn't known at the time. That information was something only she and Puck shared.

It was strange how luck we were to be safe, yet adult-less. All the Glee members were riding back from Regionals when the bus driver stopped the bus after listening to a radio announcement. Everyone was too loud to hear it themselves, but the driver yelped, pulled over, stopped the car and just high-tailed it out of there. It took 20 minutes for everyone to realize that he wasn't coming back. Mr. Shue insisted they stay a little longer just in case. Puck turned on the car to turn the heater on, and that's when everyone heard the radio static and the announcement.

Shelby and Beth were picked up on the way to this mansion. Berry Manor. Of course, everyone freaked out because, hellooo, Berry has a mansion?

So now, I'm here, sipping some concoction of lemonade with mint that Rachel made. It was actually pretty good. It's been two weeks since everything spun out of control. Everyone is dealing with this in their own ways.

Berry is strange on any given day, adorably so. It's only fitting that she'd cope with this ..well, strangely.

I'm on the second story balcony keeping watch with a kick ass gun. Mister Berries had a gun collection, much to their daughters horror.

The sight is kind of amusing. Rach is in her front lawn frantically directing a pink manual lawn mower back and forth. Seriously, she's fucking cutting the grass in a zombie apocalypse. She was ranting the other day about finding some sort of normality to seek comfort.

My girlfriend is insane.


	2. Chapter 2

"The grass looks shiny. I think the zombies will appreciate the softness of it on their knees when they munch on you, baby." Now she's giving me this glare like it's supposed to scare me or something. It's kind of adorable when she does that.

She's been at this for an hour now. Little beads of sweat cover the top of her forehead, and goddamn if it isn't sexy watching my munchkin doing manual labor. All she needs now is some black smudges on her face and we've got one of my fantasies off my bucket list.

"Do not mock me, Santana. Up-keeping a yard is proper home-owning etiquette. End of the world or not, it will not do to have overgrown grass. Aesthetics are important," she chided.

I roll my eyes at her. "I love it when you get all verbose," I say.

And now she's rolling her eyes at me! I'm serious. That mouth moving at fast speed gets me going because I _know_ what exactly that mouth can do. I love that I can wrap my arms around her now without looking around to make sure no one is watching.

All the screaming and biting scared the shit out of me. Rachel is little and it would be so easy for them to grab her and snack on her. Her legs are long, but she's still short that her tiny strides could attract one of the face-eaters. And I do like her face. You shoulda seen the looks on the glee clubs faces when we first got to Berry Manor. Once we all settled down and the adrenaline rush ran over, I just bolted to my girl and kissed the life out of her for a full minute. Finn just stood there, trying to figure out what was going on. He's a little slow on the uptake. Puck smiled because he had already known about us. Mr. Shue looked uncomfortable and Kurt had this look like he had known all along. And Quinn looked pissed the fuck off and freaking _lunged _at me. I smirked at her and said, "Yeah, this lil shortcake is mine. Jealous, Fabgay?"

The black eye she gave me was totally worth it. Seeing Fabray all twisted up is always worth it.

So now I can gets my mack on when ever I want. And I wants them now.

"You're only kissing me right now because Quinn has perimeter watch and we're directly in her line of sight. Santana it is extremely mean to throw this in her face! Had I known she'd get as upset as she did, I wouldn't have allowed you to kiss me in front of everyone the second we were out of danger. We could have build it up on them."

I raise my eyebrow at her. Oh really? She thinks she could have just stopped kissing me?

"Oh, really?"

She gives me this look and I can tell she's debating on her answer. Then she just turns around in a well-rehearsed storm off. She knows she would have let me kiss her no matter what. I win.

Quinn is staring. _Yeah that's right, Quinnie_. Maybe she'll get that she doesn't have a chance with my girl.

Xxxxx

It's been two days since she mowed the lawn. Now she's sitting at her dinner table with papers placed neatly side-by-side. Each paper has a name on it and she's tallying shit off left and right. Occasionally she presses buttons on her calculator. Uh…

"Rach, baby, what are you doing?" Her answer could be _anything._

She looks up and sagely states, "I'm glad you asked, Santana. I'm charting out our daily intake of water and food. Our supplies are running low and we're good for about three days at this rate. I'm graphing the projections by our average use. I wrote the formula this morning." Her lips form a small smile and she continued, "Would you like to see it?"

See it? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make sense of the lines and points and numbers, but she's excited so what the hell. "I would love to, hobbit. Show me what you got."

And she shows me. It's exactly what I imagine a mad scientist's table would look like. Her charts are color-coded and her graph has little stars as points. See, this shit is _adorable_.

"You're my cute little nerd. Now you said we had three days?"

Rachel nods.

"I guess we gotta get a salvage crew set-up. Finn can't come this time. I'm tired of his whiney, out-of-shape ass."

She's glaring again. What, does she expect me to be nice to her ex-boyfriend?

The crew, code name "Alpha Slushie" consists of me, Rachel, Puck, and Mike. We have walkie talkies. So serious. Rach equipped us each with a walkie talkie and gave us code names. I thought she was joking, but I was corrected in a very long Rachel rant. We don't ever really separate, but we have radio communication when we need to talk from 20 feet away. We aren't allowed to yell or say anything above a whisper. I doubt zombies have that good of hearing. I said that, too, but she gave me another long-winded explanation about vagabonds ganging up on us and _they _would have good hearing.

My code name is PapaDanson. I picked it myself. Don't ask. Rachel's code name is AudioWizard and Puck's is LiquorSticker. Quinn isn't here, but hers is ThunderSheep. Hilarious, if you ask me. Mike's code name is PizzaNinja.

"AudioWizard to PapaDanson, do you read me, over?" Rachel's voice carries in a soft whisper through the walkie.

I don't speak through my device. "Rach, you're standing right next to me."

"I'm merely testing out our equipment," she huffs.

She drives to a small town nearby that we haven't hit yet. She's obeying all the traffic signs and lights. She even signals!

Mike speaks out, "Um, Rachel, you don't really have to, like, stop at the red lights."

Wrong move, buddy.

Now we're sitting in the car listening to her talk about how important it is to keep to rules of the road because we have a responsibly as civilians and laws are important. Also, we're metaphors about something blah blah. I stopped listening.

Finally, we're at a store that has some water and a few snacks. Rachel is going through the food, looking at the ingredients to make sure they are vegan. She refuses to acknowledge that in order to stay alive, she'll have to put aside her dietary guidelines. We're good for now, but we're gonna stop finding vegan shit.

On our way out she stops and pulls out some dollar bills and places it on the cash register.

My girlfriend seriously just paid for things in this zombie-ridden world.


	3. Chapter 3

We got back from our salvage run last night. The loot was pretty good. Rachel ran out of dollar bills to "pay" for things and starting getting all pouty. Because my girl has a big heart she got gifts for everyone. She got the boys a football, gummie bears for Brittany, and bacon bits for Quinn. The rest were random stuff, but I didn't really pay much attention after the bacon bits. I got a little jealous, alright?

Right now I'm sitting on one of the couches in her family room with Puck to my right. Everyone is gathered around while Rachel stands in the middle of the semi-circle we formed. Everyone is getting me curious looks like they think I know what she's about to do. I'm as clueless as they are. Rachel called an emergency meeting. God knows what she's going to say.

"Hygiene is important," she says in a clipped manner.

Oh dear god.

A collective groan caused her to frown.

"I don't know why you're all so upset. I am aware that this is a very sensitive subject matter, but I feel that this needs to be addressed. I specifically pointed out some wet wipes and washcloths in the pantry. Naturally, I thought you'd be using them to keep clean," she says it all in one breath.

I look around to see everyone shifting in their seat. Oh, now this is getting good.

"I myself have adapted to a daily cleaning regimen to keep up appearances. Proper hygiene is one of the most important things you can control right now. Finn, you smell like Cheetos and it's very concerning. Mercedes, you haven't- "

"Oh hell no, you don-t—" the girl threw herself toward my hobbit's direction. That's when I sprang up to stand in front of Rachel.

"Back off, tubby or I swear I will cut you with the rusty razor blades in the bathroom. Just sit the fuck down and listen to what shortcake here has to say. Got it?" I bark out. She recoils. Hell yeah!

"I apologize, Mercedes. Back to my point. It's getting smelly. Body odor will not be tolerated. I doubt most of you would get 'your mack on' once you start resembling a garbage can as far as scent goes. Which brings me to my next point."

More groaning. Quinn lifts her eyebrows impossibly high. I want to smack that eyebrow off. But I'll do with just shaving it off. Making eyebrows at my hobbit.

"I got something yesterday. As you know Alpha Slushie was a success." She opens a bag next to her and pulls out… a freaking box of condoms. "I don't necessarily like the thought of you defiling my house, but I sincerely don't want anyone here to get pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease."

Everyone is too shocked to say anything as she hands them out to each member.

The next day Rachel and Sam build a makeshift shower since water has been out for a while now. Every day a couple of people make a run to the lake about two miles away. Rachel made a large ass water filter from sand and charcoal. How smart is my girl? Someone has to pour the heated up water from a water pail into the waterbin she had above the 'shower head.'

Then, she charts out shower schedules for everyone.

"Everyone will shower every three days. I have plenty of soap and shampoo. Please don't use too much of the shampoo. They cost forty dollars a bottle. Granted, money isn't really an issue. The point is that it's incredibly high quality, so don't waste. Remember, you still need to use your wipes for everyday cleansing. And toothbrushes! Please use them and the baking soda and peroxide. Toothpaste if you can find any. You've all seen Cast Away and I would hate to have to pull out your tooth. Although, I've been studying up on medical procedures in case we need to operate or something."

The fuck?


	4. Chapter 4

"I cannot _believe_ you, Finn Hudson!" Rachel whisper-yells. She is pacing back and forth in the basement with one Finn Hudson sitting on a chair in the corner looking like someone had maimed his puppy. He has that stupid aloof air to him, too. He doesn't seem phased at the fact that he had cost a life; he seems more afraid of a furious Rachel Berry. Her eyes are like fire right now, and shit, even I'm a little frightened.

"This is why I wanted you to stay behind. You're.. talents.. " I snicker because she seemed to have stumbled upon that word. Talents? What talents does he have? "..they would be more useful at Home Base. Had I even been awake during this morning's salvage run I would have strongly insisted ..no.. I would have _demanded _that you remain behind."

Rachel pauses her pacing and faces away from the boy. She takes a few deep breaths before turning around and is suddenly strangely calm.

"Who approved of your addition to BetaRogue?" BetaRogue is the secondary team. Finn had originally been a part of AlphaSlushie but he almost ruined our entire mission. How? Let me break it down for you.

Here is how we work:

First, we have a few "scouts" to check perimeter and surrounding area. They don't go far…just up. They find the nearest, highest point while we remain below for back-up. Once we gather around for the report, we analyze the best way to go about our run. If there are zombies near by we analyze even more. If there is a group of five or more, we attack from afar first with range weapons. Puck managed to score a crossbow and a normal archer's bow. It took a while for her get used to the normal bow, but Rach has that thing down. I'm beginning to think she had, at one point, taken lessons. Anyway, we get the archers to hit a few of the zombies to hit them one by one. If they head toward us we still have the advantage. The melee weapons are next and they bonk them on the head with a bat or something. That's how we work.

Our first salvage run was a disaster. Finn ignored our orders and didn't wait for the archers to give the OK for them to work. The man-child just ran at them with his bat, screaming like a loon. We all had to run to save the fucker because there was no way Puck and Rach would fire an arrow in that mess. So we booted him out and had him on Laundry Duty for the guys.

"S-Sam approved." _Oh, Trouty is gonna get it!_

Rachel does a hair-flip to get the hair out of her face and ran her tongue angrily across her top lip. Swear to God, she totally does this when she gets pissed off. Totally hot.

"All orders go through _me_! Everything is planned out and _you_ have turned organized plans into chaos, again! Don't you understand that when you input yourself into a solid, well-thought out plan you shift the dynamics."

My girl stands impossibly straight and crossed her arms, waiting for him to answer her.

"Look Rach, I just wanted to prove to you that I can do this. You just keep me here to do girly stuff while you go out there! It's dangerous and I'm bigger and stronger." He says indignantly.

I want to get up in his face for putting down my girl and for not trusting her reasons, but I know better than to interrupt Rachel's interrogation. Besides, Rachel can take care of herself. She's got a black belt to prove it. So I just stand here and watch it all play out before me.

"Don't you pull that misogynistic bullshit with me, Finn. And how could you say that after what you've caused! Mr. Shue was _eaten_ because you couldn't stay with the group and you yelled out, attracting a horde of zombies. We have walkies for a reason, and you tagging along messed it all up. You aren't assigned a walkie because you aren't supposed to have one." Tears start to pool again and she's closing her eyes to gain composure. Finn's eyes darts around, looking for someone, anytime to come to his aid. Surrounding him are Rachel, me, Sam, Quinn, and Puck. The rest of the glee members are upstairs, crying for the loss they had just experienced.

Puck steps up and gives Rachel this look like he's asking permission to talk. She nods in response.

"What are we going to do with him?" Finn's eyes widen. "I mean, he can't just get away with this. This was a human life!"

I was wondering the same thing. I'd be all up for booting him out Survival style, but I know my hobbs won't allow that. She's too kind and wouldn't dare put someone else's life in danger. He didn't mean to get killed. Kicking him out would be like kicking a puppy after he ate your pillow, or something. He's clueless.

Quinn speaks next, "We could have him spend the rest of his time locked in the basement."

"I'll be right back." And with that, Rachel disappears into the room above us and returns a few minutes later with a book in her hand.

"You will read this book, front to back. You will summarize each chapter about what you've learned. After you're done I expect you to write a ten page essay about how to go about the scenario in which you've gotten Mr. Shue killed." She places the book on his lap. More like tosses.

"The Art of War by Sun…Tzu?" He quickly flips through the pages. "Rachel, I don't even understand what some of these words mean," he whines.

She disappears again and returns with an even bigger book.

"Here's a dictionary. Consider this the easiest punishment known to the history of man. If I left it to the rest of my officers, you'd be out of here in a flash. Come to one of us when you need to pee, or shower, or eat. We're watching you, Finn Hudson. Think about what you've done. _Really_ think about it. Next time you screw up badly, you're out."

Once we are all upstairs, Rachel takes Sam to the side. "Sam, don't think you aren't to blame in this, too. You bypassed my orders and undermined my authority. You may have planned out the basics of survival, but I know what I'm doing. This is your only warning. Undermine me again and your punishment will be far worst than what I gave Finn."

She locks eyes with me and she hugs me like there's no tomorrow. "San, that could have been you."

"Baby, I was here in your arms the whole time."

"But, still." She sniffs.

"I know, shortcake. I know." I kiss her forehead and revel in the warmth her body provides.

"We need to do a run for more firewood. It's getting really cold. Our current supply will last a week, but we're going to be busy."

"Does that brilliant brain of yours ever shut off?"

"If only.."

* * *

A few days have passed since Mr. Shue died. We had a tiny memorial for him and even sang a few songs in honor of him (in the basement, of course). Everyone started getting back to normal, accepting the death far faster than I had anticipated. Dead is going to be a common place here.

Alpha Slushie is going to town! Guess where Rachel want's us to go. I don't have a clue because she won't tell me.. So we all hop into one of Rachel's trucks and head off.

To an office supply store….

An office supply store.

"Uhm, Rachel why are we at a Staples?" Mike whispers.

Rachel smiles sweetly as she kept her eyes open. "Well, Mike, as you know Puck and I are the archers of the group with Quinn well on her way to be combat ready. We had less than two hundred arrows to begin with and only ten remain."

Mike scrunches his face and interrupts her, "You think we're gonna find arrows at Staples?"

"No, Mike. I doubt we will be able to find any of those this day in age. We are going to supplement our weaponry with pens," she said confidently.

Puck shifts his weight and asks, "Pens? How?"

"Noah, I assure you that pens will suffice. Trust me."

Okay, so I had all the trust in the world in my midget, but seriously? Pens? Okay, now I'm a little worried that she's going crazier than normal.

"Baby, are you sure this will work?"

Rach just lifts her eyebrow but says nothing. _Ugh. I'm not getting any tonight._

* * *

So, the pens worked. Who fucking knew? We have thousands of pens, now. The trip to staples also supplied us with snacks and cords. Rachel also took a few of the electronics to do God knows what with them.

Everytime we go somewhere, Puck siphons gas from cars. Rachel starts taking the car batteries out. And an alternator? The fuck?

As Puck siphons the gas, she jumps to attention, slaps her head, and say to herself, "I cannot believe I didn't think of that before!"

We now have about twenty car batteries. It takes us two trips to get all of our shit to the house.

Rachel's got some hardhat on with Sam outside. Artie is sitting near them, watching their efforts and offering his advice. There's a huge metal tank attached to a few things. There are about five different parts to it.

As per Rachel's orders, Puck and Mike take apart the washing machine. There are also a bunch of wires with metal ends. God knows what else.

"YES! We have power! We have power!"

My genius gave us power. Fuck yeah.

* * *

It's my turn to be on perimeter watch and I can't think of anything more boring. There's not much to see. Right now Britts is picking flowers and dancing happily. I'm glad she still has some spirit in her to find joy in the little things. Once she sees me she comes running over to throw her arms around me.

"San! Aren't these super pretty?" Her smile totally lights up the world and it can't help but smile back at my best-friend.

"Yeah, B, they are really nice."

She nods at my response and swishes her hair from side to side. "They're going to be on my tiara when I win Prom Queen."

I blink at her and tilt my head.

"Um, B, there's no more school remember?"

"Oh yeah, I remember. But we're having a prom here, silly. Berry Spectacular Sword is what it's called."

"Sword?"

"Yeah, you know, like a party."

"Oh! It's soiree, B. What do you mean we're having a prom here?"

"I was talking to Rachy this morning and she said she's planning a prom and she called it Berry Spectacular Soiree. Aren't you excited, S?"

She bounces off to collect more flowers and all I can do is rub my temples for the on coming headache.

_A/N: It got a bit darker here than the other chapters. It wouldn't necessarily be a zombie fic without someone dying. I didn't make it graphic. _


	5. Chapter 5

I decide not to ask Rachel about the prom she's apparently planning. I'm actually hoping Britts misunderstood something. Not likely, though. And if she _did _misunderstand, Rachel would probably plan one anyway to make her happy. It's really hard to deny Britts anything.

Rachel's been busy and I'm getting a little frustrated over here. Images of her working the yard with her bedazzled, pink lawnmower definitely isn't helping. She's practicing her archery skills in the backyard with Artie. My girl thought it'd be time to teach Artie so he's not completely defenseless. God help us if we ever put him in a situation where he'd have to defend himself. Puck is making some sort of blade attachment for the wheels of his wheelchair. Honestly, I haven't been paying much attention.

Today is Wednesday. We coined it "Whiskey Wednesday." Actually, I coined it. It took me hours of begging Rach to allow us to raid her impressive liquor storage. She won't let us touch the thirty-year old scotch or the huge wine cellar. I've got a nice amount of American honey whiskey in my cup. Have you tasted this glorious nectar? It's packs a nice punch as it slides so smoothly down your throat. This bottle is all mine. I'm happy with my choice. The rest of the Glee club opted out of the hard stuff and settled for the weak, warm beers Rachel had in stock. Seriously, warm beer? I mean, I can understand if they were drinking lambic or craft beers, but they're drinking fucking PBR. Mind you, there _are_ lambic and craft beers available. Whatever, they can go on drinking their moose piss or whatever. They refuse to respect the 'Whiskey' part of Whiskey Wednesday.

I look to my left to where Kurt is sitting with a notebook. He's scribbling a few things down. Probably a diary. He seems like a diary kind of guy.

"Hey Kurt," I say sweetly. He looks at me with his lips tight and his eyebrows lifted slightly.

"I'm rather busy reviewing my personal inventory, Santana. My moisturizer collection is dismally low. Can you get to your point? I know you want something." He says curtly.

I scoff. "Well, princess I was just wondering why you aren't drinking anything. It's a sacred day."

"Hardly. I highly doubt alcohol will make my moisturizer situation any better. If anything, it might put more of a damper in my mood. Also, Finn let me sip on his beer and it's repugnant." He grimaces.

"Yeah, no shit." Well, well, today is his lucky day. I shove my drink in front of him. "Come on, pretty boy, put some hair on your chest."

"Absolutely not. And what is that anyway?"

"It is Whiskey Wednesday, what do you think?"

"No, thanks." Kurt turns back to his notebook quickly. Rude! The kid needs to lighten up already because he's ruining my buzz. Maybe I can have Puck hold him down while I pour some down his throat? Or…

"Listen up. I need you to chill out for a while. You're ruining the mood for me and no doubt the rest of the group. So how about this: I'll actively search for moisturizers on our next salvage run if you take a few large gulps of this _delicious_ drink." I shake my cup a little to emphasize my point.

He just looks at me for a few seconds before sighing heavily. "Fine. Just give me the cup so I can get this over with."

"Remember, three large gulps or it's no deal," I remind him as I hand him the cup.

He sniffs it a bit before tentatively putting it against his lip. His nose scrunches up and he takes a deep breath for courage or something. He lets the breath of air out quickly and lifts the cup, taking one large gulp.

He coughs and puts a hand to his chest and shakes his head back and forth. "Oh my god that _burned_!"

Wait for it…. Three…two…one..

"Oh, that was actually rather smooth there in the end. And it's sweet. Wow." He smiles a bit and lifts the cup back only to down the last two gulps quickly.

I smirk at him knowingly. "Feeling all warm and fuzzy down your throat to your tummy now, right?"

He nods and says through a sigh, "No kidding."

I take my cup back and continue sipping. What – this is a gem and Imma sip this because it's good. You don't shoot whiskey; you enjoy it, okay? Now Kurt and I are sitting in our little corner in a comfortable silence. Finally, I can enjoy this buzz.

Ugh, but I see Quinn Fabray coming over my way. She's not drinking, though, because she's watching over Beth (who's napping, by the way). Today is Shelby's day off of mom duty.

She gives me a nod in greeting and I lift my cup in the air to her.

"Hello, Kurt."

"Hey, Quinn." He smiles. Lightweight.

My former cheerleading captain steps next to Kurt. "I would like to schedule a meeting with Rachel today."

Pretty boy leans to his right and picks up another notebook and takes out a pen from his bag. He clicks the top of the pen and looks up at Quinn, poised to write.

"Very well." He looks down at the page and nods to himself. "Rachel has time right after her scheduled shower. Which should be done at around 3:30."

"That'll be great." And she's smiling.

"Now, what is the nature of your appointment, Quinn?"

Quinn is smiling widely now with her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. Her eyes have this sparkle in them. I know this look. She's got that weird serial-killer vibe.

"I'd like to see one of them. Up close. I mean, one that isn't moving anymore. A dead one."

Kurt covered his mouth in shock and I'm still sipping on my drink. I'm not surprised at all. This is such a Quinn thing to say.

I decide to speak. "They are already dead, blondie."

She rolls her eyes. "You know what I mean, Lopez." There is no malice in her voice.

She skips off and Kurt hasn't moved.

If you hadn't gathered, Rachel has 'hired' Kurt as her personal secretary. Everyone wanted to input his or her ideas, suggestions, what have you. She said something about having better things to do than sort out the collective chaos of Glee club. Everyone has to make appointments through Kurt now. Fabray wasn't really specific about her wish to see one of the zombies up close. What does that even mean? She's been on the runs. She's on BetaRogue!

"Kurt, put me in on Quinn's meeting, too."

* * *

We're in the den. Rachel's sitting at the desk and I'm lounging on a nearby couch while Fabray is sitting on a wooden chair in front of the desk. She's fidgeting with her hands.

Rachel looks so serious right now. The glasses on her make her look smoking hot. Now I'm shifting in my seat because the images of a school girl/teacher fantasy are roaming in my head.

"Rach, I thought you don't wear glasses." Quinn says, confused.

Rachel gets out of character and smiles shyly. "I don't, Quinn. These are mere props as there are no lenses in them. I thought it'd make me more professional."

God, isn't she just fucking amazing? She would have taken Broadway by storm.

I don't like the way blondie is looking at my girl. I could be paranoid, but whatever. "Get on with it, Fabray." I say and go back to sipping my drink. Calm down, it's only my second cup of the day.

Rachel sends me a chastising look, pulling in her professional aura. "What would you like to speak to me about? Kurt's note was rather… strange and somewhat vague. It says you want to 'see one of the zombies up close. A dead one.'"

I snicker because Rachel says this like it's a completely normal request. But, then again, Quinn thought it was completely normal for her to request in the first place. Suddenly, I'm aware that I'm alone in a room with two completely deranged people.

"Yes. As you know, my father is a doctor, as is one of yours. I've always wanted to know how things work. Take things apart. I want to know more about those zombies out there. Plus, I'd like to practice stitching them up. One of us is going to need medical attention eventually."

Is she joking?

"Well," my hobbit begins. She clears her throat and waits a few moments to continue. "I applaud your ambition, Quinn. I think this is a fantastic idea!"

WHAT?!

"However, the risks of infection from them are too high. I can't allow you to do that. As far as we know, it's transmittable through blood..maybe even the lymphatic system. One missed prick through the nitrile, as I'm assuming you'll be using nitrile because regular house hold gloves will not do, you'd be a zombie in seconds. They were once people, Quinn. I don't think further desecration to their bodies would be appropriate."

Quinn looks to the side and swallows audibly. "But, Rachel, there are so many things we don't know! Have you seen many of them even rotting? They appear normal, but extremely dirty."

"Yes, that is rather disturbing. I have been thinking about that and the only explanation is that they allow their bodies to remain mobile if they have a fresh source of blood. We haven't seen many rotting because they are still finding victims. I suspect that in a few weeks they will start to deteriorate. They are running out of bodies. And if that happens we will be much safer. I highly doubt they'd be able to keep walking once their tendons weaken and eventually fall off."

She's lost in her own little, brilliant world. Quinn and I share a look like, 'yeah, she's not talking to us anymore.'

"I'm a bit confused. They don't seem to feel or respond to any injuries, so they obviously can't feel any pain. I'm sure their Peripheral nervous system is shutting down. That might explain the strange, forced gait. Cerebrum must be intact. As well as their olfactory system. Their problem solving seems to be nonexistent…"

She's still talking. All those fancy words are getting me hot.

Rachel pauses and stands up. "Okay, Quinn. I approve. However, I am going to accompany you. We will not directly touch them. We will wear triple layers of nitrile gloves, with work gloves on top of them. We will wear safety goggles and masks and a facemask. And scrubs! I'll gather our surgical equipment and I'll make sure to save a limb and a brain for us. Maybe a heart, too! Quinn this is going to be so much fun! Thankfully, as I am always prepared, I have been gathering surgical equipment during our hospital and pharmacy raids."

Rach moves around the desk to give Quinn a hug.

"No, no no no no! Rach you are not going to open up one of those freaks so you and Fabray can play doctor. This is playing with fire!"

"Don't be silly, Santana. We're going to take all the necessary precautions. I assure you we'll be fine. It will be controlled. And we're only going to use part of the body."

Oh fucking hell.


	6. Chapter 6

My efforts are fruitless. It's supposed to be a secret: this crazy, fucked up plan to open up one of the walking goons. So far only Puck and I know outside of Quinn and Rachel. It's been a few days since that meeting. I mean.. Fucking Quinn Fabray. If she hadn't been…well..Quinn, none of this would _ever _slip into Rach's head.

"You know this shit wouldn't ever cross her head without help from Q." I say through clenched teeth.

Puck scoffs and shakes his head. _What?_

"What?!"

"This is Rachel Berry we're talking about. You take the world away and you still have an obnoxious know-it-all-"

"Watch your mouth, Puckerman."

He holds up his hands to show he means no harm.

"I'm just saying that she would have come up with this eventually. You and I both know how brilliant she is. You said yourself that Quinn said next to nothing in that meeting."

I laugh because it's true. "Yeah, she somehow convinced herself to do this after telling Q it was a bad idea."

"I wouldn't doubt that was Q's plan all along.. to plan a small seed and let Rachel do the watering."

"You're starting to sound like a fucking poem."

The man just shrugs, "Quinn's Literature Composition classes are helping."

I let out a long sigh in bewilderment. It's not even that long ago that our world started rotting and Rachel Berry has forced everyone to continue schoolwork.

* * *

"_Ms. Fabray will be teaching Literature on Thursdays at 1 pm and on Sundays at 10am. English is a beautiful language and I will not allow your brains to forget how to let literature go down the drain. Perhaps it will help you in your daily journal recordings. Can you imagine how romantic it would be should future generations find these and be brought to tears by your beautiful post-apocalyptic poetry?"_

* * *

I can't believe she's making us do this shit.

Puck leans toward me. "Your girlfriend runs a tight fucking ship, PapaDanson," he whispers. We're the only ones supposed to be in the immediate area, but he whispers it like he's afraid the midget will jump out any second and make him run laps or something.

"She's tight alright." I smirk. Because, yeah she is.

"Atta girl," he cheers and offers a fist. I grant him a fistbump.

"_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, SANTANA LOPEZ?!"_

I hear a stern, loud Rachel behind me.

Oh my god. You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Puck's eyes are probably as wide as saucers. My eyes are squeezed tight and I'm willing myself to burst into flames, melt, or just disappear.

"Answer me this instant." Her voice is low and gravely. Oh shit.

"Rach, you clearly heard what she said." He's trying to help?

Oh, poor Puck. I wince because he just said the wrong thing.

Okay, I gotta speak or else she's going to think I'm being defiant or whatever. "I-I..Puck.." Goddamnit. My mouth is dry and I can't even remember much of English.

"Rachel, what's going on? I heard… ohh….It looks like I should stay out of this. Debriefing is in ten minutes, Wiz." Quinn's voice flows over, always sounding of liquid honey. Just perfect.

"ThunderSheep, there is no need to vacate. In fact, as my confidant I will request that you stay here for this."

"Uh. Rachel.."

Berry stage-whispers, "No names, remember? Not today." I chuckle because this is just too fucking adorable. I can only imagine their faces right now.

"Something _funny, _PapaDanson?" Fabray's voice is ice-cold now. HBIC is back.

"Yeah, _Fabray_. You're having an awful lot of fun being Rachel's Lapdog."

Suddenly I feel a slight push of Puckerman's elbow into my side.

Blondie fucking growls at me. Ha! She's so easy to rile up.

"Don't test me, Lopez."

A frustrated grunt vibrates through Rachel's throat. Finally, I decide to open my eyes. The girls move to stand directly in front of us. I shouldn't be turned on right now, but watching Berry's sweaty chest heave up in down in anger is drool-worthy. Her clavicles glisten in the sunlight and all I want to do is reach over and…

"My eyes are up here, PapaDanson," she warns. Wow, she is really upset. There was no playfulness in it at all. "Please, repeat what I thought I heard you say."

LiquorSticker beside me just shakes his head at me. "Dude, I don't want to die." He whines. I roll my eyes because, really? My hobbit loves me and she wouldn't really punish me bad.

"Puck said you run a tight ship." I let out. I hear an "Ugghhhh" next to me.

"And?" Quinn's eyebrow is doing that thing where it's trying to run off of her head.

"And I said she was tight, alright."

Tubbers nostrils flare and I swear to God, she's going to burst soon. Then she looks down and blushes. _Oh hell no! I think I just made her think.._

"Get your head out of the gutter, preggers. Yeah, I fucked up and probably shouldn't have said that. But this girl here is **mine!**"

"I am not an object you can possess. Frankly, Santana I am appalled." She takes in a deep breath.

Appalled, my ass. This girl loves being called mine. She loves calling me hers even more. I have bite marks all over my body to prove it. That shit gets her off like no other. Just last night she asked, "Who's are you?" while she was knuckle-deep. She kept chanting "mine" as I came. But, of course I can't bring that up. At least not this second. Rach knows what's going on through my head as I bravely lift my own eyebrow at her.

"PapaDanson you are hereby temporarily relieved of your position in AlphaSlushie. You will be replaced by ThunderSheep for the next two excursions."

"WHAT?! You need me! I am not trusting blondie here to back your fine ass up. She barely started archery lessons."

"And she handles it quite well, I assure you. Her hands are _quite_ agile. Her stamina is _more_ than sufficient to keep up with _my fine ass_."

She loves to push by buttons. This is her getting back at me for the while 'tight' remark I made. Fabray starts coughing violently and her face is as red as a tomato.

I'm defeated. Fuck.

"I-I..I'm sorry, Rach. It was fucked up of me to objectify you like that. I just.. I get…fuck!" I'm a stuttering mess.

I look into her eyes because those brown eyes ground me. There's still fire there, but there's no more scary anger swirling there.

"I know. Your punishment still stands," she says firmly. Then she leans in and licks the shell of my ear, causing me to shiver. "You'll be making this up to me later," Rachel whispers huskily.

Fuck me.

* * *

Britts and I are on the prom committee. Rach added this as a part of my punishment. You'd think I actually kicked her puppy or something. I don't mind it all the much. I get to hang out with Britts. It's been a while since we got to hang out. Wheels is always taking up her extra time and he's always starting at me like I'm about to take his candy away. It'd be freaking easy, too; He can't chase me in those wheels.

"Okay, B. I honestly don't know where to start. Who else is on the committee anyway."

"Tina, but she said something about helping Mike with his headache. I think she's going to help him with sexy times."

I laugh. "You're probably right. So how do we start this, then?"

"Well we always started our school stuff with sweet lady kisses. Don't you remember, San?"

"Oh. OH. Britts, we can't do that anymore."

"But, sex isn't dating, remember?"

"I know, but I'm dating Rachel."

"You are? I thought you were just having fun sexytimes." She jumps and claps.

"Is she good, San? I bet she's super good with her mouth because she uses it so much." She says it dead-pan like usual. It's endearing and I miss it.

I nod. "Yes, B. She's really good."

"Can I borrow her sometime? I've always wanted to see if she tastes like berries."

Oh wow. Hot visual. But.. no! No, one can touch my hobbit but me.

"That would make me super sad, B."

She pouts a bit. Damn it. "But I'll tell her you totes would get your sexy lady kisses on if you could."

That brilliant smile spreads across her face.

We decided on a Broadway theme for the prom. I wish I could take credit for the idea, but Brittany said she knows Rachel is sad because Broadway went away. She wants to bring Broadway to her. She's brilliant. For a moment I let myself remember all the feelings I had for Brittany and it's no longer painful. Seeing her on Artie's lap makes me happy because _she's _happy.

There's already a stage in the basement, so our work is basically half done. But, seriously? What the fuck does Broadway look like?

"Yo, Kurt!"

"What is it, Santana?"

"I need help."

He looks at his pretty cuticles and says, "Yes, I'm glad you finally realized. Satan can be redeemed after all."

"Yeah, yeah. Zombie Apocalypse finally made your balls drop. Congrats, princess. What I was going to say was that I need your help with the prom. It's going to be Broadway themed."

He squeals.

"I don't know what it looks like..soo… help, okay?"

I shift uncomfortably because I just asked for help…from Kurt. Whatever, this is going to be for my girl, so..

"You have come to the right person, Ms. Lopez."

SCORE

"I just have to finish my English Essay for Ms. Fabray."

"Seriously?!"

"What? Last time Puck was late in his assignment she totally made him Slushie himself."

"Where the fuck did she get a slushie?"

"It wasn't actually a slushie. I believe it was food dye and baby throw up."


	7. Chapter 7

I'm a badass; but I have a romantic side. If you mention that to anyone I will not hesitate to cut you. So, only Rachel gets to experience this side. I love this girl so damn much that sometimes I just want to squish her. I mean, she's small enough to basically fit into my pocket. Everyone thinks I put up a façade of being a bitch, but they just don't get that I really am a bitch. It's toned down now that school doesn't exist anymore. I get to enjoy being with Rachel. Like right now.

Today is perfect. I've set out a nice picnic with a bottle of white wine. There isn't much by way of food, but there are crackers and some random snacks about the blanket. My hobbs has been busy with her crazy and I've been trying to sort out the rest of our situation. It's been a while since I've gotten to have proper cupcakin'.

I'm sitting down, enjoying a small sip of this cheap wine. I steal a few glances across from me at Rachel. She's got her head tilted adorably with a mask of confusion and thought adorning her pretty face.

"San?"

I hum a response because I've just put a few more sips of wine into my mouth.

"I don't think Quinn has ever had an orgasm."

Holy shit. Where did all my air go? Probably on the blanket with the rest of my mouthful of wine.

God, it's hard to breathe.

"San? What….oh my god, breathe!"

"Tr..hnh…." Finally, I'm coughing and a few breaths full of oxygen make its way to my lungs.

Rachel leans over to roughly pat on my back.

"Gosh, I'm so sorry. I hadn't realized that anything I say would sound incredibly off-base."

"Berry, you gotta warn a girl. You don't just… out and say something like that without preamble."

I run my hand through my hair, searching for something in my brain to translate why she would comment on such a thing about Fabray. And, how she would come to that conclusion. Blowing out a puff of air, getting the remains of liquid from my windpipe, I decide to just take the direct approach.

"Why do you think tubbers has never had an orgasm? And… why exactly were you thinking about that in the first place?"

"She has only had the one sexual experience with Puck and she hardly seems like the type to indulge in self-satisfaction, especially considering that her background in religion would have her believe it's a dirty act."

This is the strangest conversation to be having right now. On a date.

"Well, short-stuff, you never know. She did grind with Finn and probably Sam."

My girlfriend rolles her eyes and continues on her train of thought, "Yes, but I'm sure you are well aware of Finn's early arrival problem. I doubt he provided enough friction to cause a climax. I've certainly never experience one during our courtship."

"Barf. Please do not mention you and Finncompetant again." I shivered because… that's fucking nasty. Ha! As if he could ever keep up with girl. Hell, even I have trouble keeping up with her somedays. It's those damn vocal and breathing techniques, I swear.

Quinn and I haven't really been too buddy-buddy as of late. I started spending my summer with Berry and rarely had time for her. I kind of feel bad, but she went kind of crazy with her Pink hair and skanks. Thank GOD she's back to normal.

"So," Rachel starts up again. "I still stand my theory that Quinn has yet to experience climax. As you know, her birthday is coming up and I was hoping to… Well. You know."

My eyebrows rise up on their own volition and my arms place the wine I had beside me. I cross my arms and just hope she isn't going where I think she is.

"Rachel. I really hope you aren't going to offer her 'help' in that area. "

She gives me a curt nod. "I am."

"What the fuck, Rach?"

"It's the end of the world and we could _die_. I find it incredibly sad for someone so young meet their demise without experiencing such an intimate gesture."

"No fucking way. You're mine."

Fuck that. I rush forward to crash our lips together, knocking over my wine glass. She tastes like mint and berries and wine and the unique flavor that is my Rachel.

One thing about her that no one would ever expect was that she is quite the champion in the sack. I should have figured she'd say something about Fabray sooner or later. It blame it one the threesomes with our friend August. It was only a two-time thing before the girl moved to Columbus. The sex was great, but it caused a minor rift. It was me who had insecurities. I kept wondering whether or not she was thinking about her during our one-on-one lovemaking. There is no way in hell I want to share her with Q.

I pull back from out kiss. "I'm not letting Fabray touch you. No way in hell."

Oh god, she pushes her bottom lip out in an adorable pout. No. No. No. No.

"But, Saaaaan."

"If you let me I'll do that thing you want so bad."

Hold, up.

"….."

"And she won't touch me back."

"I'm not budging, hobbit."

* * *

"Good evening, fellow … glee members."

"Rach, we're not even in glee anymore," Finn offers.

"It's just easier to address you all as such. Now, let's call the meeting to order. Kurt, would you like to read the minutes from our previous meeting?"

Kurt stands up and fiddles with his tie. "Well, now we talked about maintaining the upkeep of the trees and bushes. Duties have been assigned to Finn Hudson until further notice."

Finn groans. "That's just dumb. Why would I have to snip some trees?"

"Because you get people killed, dumbass," I bark out. Seriously, _he_ survived this shit?

"Order, Order!" Rachel stamps the makeshift gavel against a book on her lap. "Kurt Hummel, please continue." She sends warning glares to both Finn and I.

Porcelain sighs. "Next, we discussed, extensively, about Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry's excursion to acquire and undead specimen for further research. At which point Santana and Puck yelled, 'Ob-fucking-jection.' Then there was chaos in the Berry manor. Shall we bring out the pro and con list, Ms. Berry?"

My girl shakes her head. Thank GOD, we exhausted that list for hours. Kurt continues, "Right, then. After the list and seven storm outs, we came to the conclusion of supporting this outing."

"Like hell we did."

"Santana! Please keep order in the court."

"Fine."

Rachel went over her books and called out, "Quinn Fabray, are you present?"

"I am, Ms. Berry."

"Without looking up from her notes, she continued, "Ms. Fabray will you honor your pact for this dangerous excursion?"

"I will." Fabray is taking this way too seriously.

"Perfect. We leave in exactly four days. Please make the necessary preparations."

Both Quinn and Puck nod.

"Now this is a more personal matter. Kurt, please write down these minutes."

"I'm on it."

"Ugh, what are you going on about now," Mercedes groaned.

"Quiet, wheezy, you'll be charged with contempt or something," I whisper loud enough for my hobbs to hear.

"Now, how many of you have yet to experience an orgasm? And how many of you are still a virgin?"


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Omigosh. I didn't mean to make anyone mad with the whole Quinn thing. I am a faberry shipper, but rest assured that they will not be paired in my stories. I'm new to this monogamy thing, so forgive me for going off course. Santana always says something that upsets Rachel in somewhat while Rachel doesn't seem to do anything wrong.  
_

* * *

"Everyone was so mad. Brittany was the only one who answered."

"Sweetheart you asked them if they had an orgasm. That kind of pushes into their personal boundaries."

Big brown eyes look into mine. "Are you mad?"

Well. "Not about that, no. I could give two shits who knows. But it's..you asked me if you could flat out fuck Quinn. What the hell was that about?"

Rach looks down onto the grass we are sitting on. The awkward meeting ended ten minutes ago.

"I've been documenting everyone's progress emotionally. I made a chart on their daily eating and exercise habits. While most are exhibiting some sort of trauma, Quinn is not. It is normal to be freaked out and deal with all of this in some way. Quinn has displayed..well..nothing out of the ordinary. I was getting worried. I'm sorry."

"So you are not attracted to Q?"

She furrows her eyebrows. "She is pretty. But I find her to be either completely like a robot or just irate. What is attractive in that? Artie won't let Brittany help. Mike won't let Tina either. Mercedes is completely straight."

"Q has always been cold and frigid. She is like a freaking speculum." I tear a blade of grass out of the ground and toss it aside.

"Santana! That is entirely rude. She is our friend!"

"That doesn't make it any less true, short stuff." I kiss her forehead. "Besides, you have suggested weirder stuff when it comes to the bedroom."

"So do you - like that thing you want me to do."

"Hey now, that is completely normal. By the way, you are totally going to do that now."

"I suppose I do have some making up to do."

"Good. Don't scare me like that. I love you. I know I don't tell you that enough because I kind of suck when it comes to feelings and expressing them out loud. If only you could hear my inner monologue."

* * *

Rachel is mowing the lawn again while Finn is near by angrily chopping down overgrown ferns. Every now and then Short Stuff will yell at him for something. I'm sitting on the porch rechecking the crossbows. The last thing we need is a faulty bow.

Quinn comes out with Beth.

"Fabray, I need a word."

"How about 'bitch?'" She teases. Ah, our fighting is always exhilarating.

"Funny, Q. Too bad the world has ended; you could have been a freaking comedian."

Beth looks adorable today. Every day she looks more and more like Quinn. Plus, she's sweet.

"What do you want, Santana? I gotta get Beth ready for her bath." She looks at Beth and her eyes soften. Whenever it's her day for her little girl, she kind of acts normal. Kind of.

"Rachel is worried about your mental health. So can you please try to..God, I don't know…not act like you have a stick up your ass?"

A smirk forms on her face and that eyebrow quirks up. "I haven't been acting any different, Lopez."

"That's the whole point. You act like all this around us is completely normal. Have you, like,_ coped_ yet?"

She shrugs, "There's nothing _to_ cope, Santana. I hated the world before. This is like a fresh start without all the bullshit."

"Whatever, just lighten up."

* * *

There's a knock at the door. I'm sitting in Rachel's study with a book in my hand. It's all in Latin and I can't understand a word of it.

"Come in." I call out.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was hoping to practice a spell with you. I've got all the proper ingredients." Rachel's voice is hopeful.

"Hermoine. Sorry, but what kind of spell?"

"It's a spell that would allow all the furniture to sing."

"What?"

"Imagine all the musicals we could have!"

I pull off my reading glasses and just stare at her for a full minute.

"Rachel, I need you to be in character. I don't think Hermione would want the furniture to sing."

"Well, how am I suppose to stay in character when I've never read the books?" She huffs and crosses her arms. A good amount of curves are showing through the school girl outfit she is wearing. Thank God for that Britney week. "Not to mention your accent is deplorable. If you want to do this proper I suggest we start diction lessons. After all, we want this to be believable, right?"

"I have no idea how you can perfect the accent, but, Rachel this isn't suppose to play out this way."

"This is what you wanted, is it not?"

"Argh. I am having major blueballs right now. I've been wearing this strap-on all day like you wanted. Every time I move I feel the friction and it's driving me crazy." I groan. This is like torture. "Okay, we'll stop this fantasy for now, but can I just please fuck you now?"

* * *

Everyone is sitting uncomfortably in the living room.

"What's up with you guys?" I ask questioningly.

Kurt has a look of horror on his face. "You guys are incredibly loud. My poor ears have been defiled."

I just smile smugly while Rachel is blushing beside me. How can she say all those things in bed but be completely bashful now?

"Yeah, that was, um. Well, it was kind of interesting," Tina says.

"I was more impressed that she was at perfect pitch," Artie added.

"That was super hot." Britt nods and smiles brightly.

* * *

I have an idea. I'm hoping Rach is still busy with her charts with Kurt. Everyone else is off doing their own things while I'm trying to be a Latina ninja in the storage room. It's the size of a few bedrooms, so I gotta work my way around the current maze of supplies.

I finally get to my destination and pocket what I wanted. As soon as I open the door to the main part of the house I see Rachel standing their with her arms crossed.

Busted.

"Hey, baby."

"Don't hey baby me. I've been waiting for you out here for ten minutes. Do you mind telling me just what you are doing?" She's tapping her foot.

"Don't get mad."

She raises her eyebrows.

"I have a feeling I'll be doing just that."

I sigh heavily and hand her my loot.

"Vicodin? Santana, why do you need this? Are you hurt?" My girl runs her eyes over my body for any sign or injury.

"No. It's for Quinn."

Her eyes widen and she asks, "Is she hurt?"

"No, no. I just." Here it goes. "You said she needed to calm down and she's being evil again. I just figured I crush it up and slip it into her Wednesday Vodka or something."

"San. That's dangerous. She could go into respiratory arrest! I'll be taking this back."

She leaves and I smile a bit because I took two bottles and she only has the one.

* * *

I crushed up the 5mg pills and slip it into some orange juice that had been freshly squeezed by Tina. I made everyone a cup, but only put the stuff in Fabray's drink. If I just made her one she would be incredibly suspicious.

"Hey, Q. I made everyone orange juice. Rach thought it'd be a good idea." I had her the cup and she eyes me suspiciously.

"You're so whipped." She laughs.

And she's drinking it! Score.

"See you later, blondie."

* * *

Oh god. Maybe I should have stuck with one pill instead of two. How should I know that I gave her more than is necessary? I totally had two when I got my wisdom tooth taken out and was fine.

"…And then you add the gravy." Quinn takes some mud and stirs it into a bowl. "And stir. And stir. And stir until you-you get the consistency of…gravy!"

I facepalm and pray that Rachel doesn't kill me. Everyone disturbed. Everyone but Brittany – who's her sous-chef. And what is even more amusing, to me anyway, is the fact that she's doing all this with her best Julia Child impression.

"Add some meatballs. You see, here in this day in age, we have rockballs. That is..meatballs made out of rock. Stir it in the gravy. PRESTO. Zombie stew for all!"

"I'm Juliaaaaa Child.."

* * *

_**Note: The "cold and frigid. She is like a freaking speculum." is a reference to a Kenzie quote in reference to Dr. Lauren Lewis on Lost Girl. **_


	9. Chapter 9

Quinn stomps toward me, her cheeks flushing beet-red. I'm not sure what to think of it, because I haven't done anything today. Maybe she's still upset about the whole drugging-her-with-vicodin thing from yesterday. Blondie is clutching some papers in her hand like a freaking lifeline. She kind of looks crazy right now.

"S, what in the world…" she stops talking and just looks to her side and breathes out through her nose and it's making this weird whistling sound. I laugh because she's reminding me of a kettle. Her head snaps back at me and she narrows her eyes. "You don't get to laugh, Santana. Did you put Rachel up to this?"

Whoa, hold on one minute. "Be careful of what you say about my girl, Q. First of all, I have no idea what you're talking about. Second, you know I can't make her do shit."

She runs her hand through her blonde, pixie-cut hair. She laughs in this self-deprecating way as she shakes her head slightly. "Then why the hell would she even bring this up? God, I've never felt more awkward in my life. And I've had Finn sing to me about having his baby in front of my mother and father!"

"Okay, what are you going on about, blondie? I don't have time for your shit; I've got to finish the short story you assigned. And how the hell am I supposed to write about this world from a zombie's point of view?"

"It's called imagination, use it."

"My imagination is for the fucking bedroom, Q." She looks completely vulnerable for a second, and it's freaking me out. I've only seen her like this a handful of times. I hate feeling fucking guilty right now, because I've no idea what's going on. So, I ask, "What's this about?"

She won't even look at me.

"I just..she came to me and started talking about how I need to have all the good experiences of life. Then, she gave me this medical book about female anatomy. By the way, where in the world would she _get_ that book? ..Then, she handed me these _papers_ and told me I should really put it into _practice _before we head out for project Blue."

I tilt my head and scrunch my eyebrows. What is she… oh no. Oh god, no.

"Spit it the fuck out, Quinn."

"She said I should experience the physical pleasure..of-of an or-orgasm."

"Oh fuck. I thought she let that go." I hiss.

Now she decides to look at me.

"What?" She whispered accusingly.

I sigh. Well, this_ is_ awkward.

"She's mentioned it before."

"You've talked about my sex life?!"

"Oh get over yourself. Not like that." God. "Actually, kind of like that."

Quinn groans and just plants herself on the floor. "I don't even know ..do I want to know?"

"_I_ didn't even want to know. Look." I sit beside her. "She was worried you had never had a fucking orgasm and wanted to… god. She wanted to_ give_ you one."

Her mouth flaps open a few times and her face is even_ redder_ than before.

"Uh..I..wha…she..me..?" I'd laugh at her lack of composure if we weren't talking about how my girl wanted to' help' her.

"Ugh. She just didn't want you to die without having an orgasm. She doesn't actually want you like _that_" I spit out. It's gross just thinking about it.

She gets this offended look and retorts, "What does that mean? I'm not desirable? I'm Quinn Fabray!"

This shit is not happening. God, can't I just get back to my damn short story?

"That means Rachel wants me and I'm fucking hers and she's mine. So, don't go getting ideas. I know you're in love with her. She doesn't know that, but I do. She wanted to pity fuck you before you go off and die or some shit."

I think I see her eyes get shiny and she's biting her lip now. "Fuck, Q. Are you going to cry? I can't handle that right now."

"I hate you."

I scoff. What? "What?"

"You always get what I want. After I got my Lexus you got your own because you _knew_ I how happy I was with mine. Then you go and take the one thing.. the one person I've ever.."

Hell no, I stop her, "Stop that. She was _never_ yours. And yeah, I fucking got a Lexus to piss you off. But do _not_ ever accuse me of getting with Rachel just to fuck with you. I _love_ her. She loves me, and I will do anything for that girl. So don't start with this shit, Fabray, because it's not a conversation you want to have. She may be attracted to you physically.. well, fuck, Q, it's no secret that you're beautiful. Everyone's thought about it; fuck, even _I've_ thought about banging you. So, don't think you have a chance when all Rachel wanted to do was give you something so basic. She cares for you, and she doesn't exactly have the greatest tact about things." I think Rachel's rubbed off on me because I've never ranted that long before.

"You love her?"

"With my whole fucking being."

She raises her eyebrow. "You _do_ have a heart, Satan."

"Whatever."

She fidgets with her fingers and says so softly, "You're the luckiest bitch alive, Santana."

"I know. All this sappy lovefest is making me ill." Seriously, having emotional talk with anyone else but my hobbit is nauseating. "So, what did the midget give you?" I reach for the papers.

There are a few leaflets of papers with my girl's impeccable handwriting.

_**How to Pleasure Yourself**_

_**Erogenous Zones, A Pictorial Guide**_

_**The Clitoris**_

_**Helpful Scenarios To Enhance Pleasure While Masturbating**_

And a small letter:

_Quinn,_

_I hope I am not intruding on your personal bubble. Santana says this is something I need to work on. I have every intention on focusing on my personal tact and conversational etiquette. I fear we don't a sufficient amount of time for me to complete whatever seminar Santana is preparing. I assume she's preparing one; I sincerely hope she isn't going to 'wing it' like she did with her bedroom activity requests. I find that it was quite unnecessary as I had already notified her of the same wishes on my end. I am starting to believe she didn't read through my 'Berry Bedroom Fantasies, annotated by Brittany' packet. She could have cross-referenced her wish list with mine! At any rate, I feel you should read through my carefully written and drawn informational kit. It's what I feel would help you relax, Quinn. I know that whenever I get stressed out and whenever Santana isn't there, the situation is best curbed when I engage in self-exploratory release. It is nowhere near the release I get when Santana is doing it, but I feel that orgasms are one of the healthiest ways to assuage any pain – physical or not. I hope these, help. You can notate your experiences if you'd like a helpful critique!_

_Sincerely,_

_Rachel Barbara Berry*_

I can't even be mad right now, because all of that is just so Rachel Berry, and it's fucking adorable. I laugh. She did get me a packet about her fantasies but it was like fifty pages long. Yeah, didn't read it.

"What?"

"Nothing ,it's just..so_ Rachel_." She smiles a little. "So, Q. Have you ever had an Orgasm?"

"Uhm. I-I think so."

"Yeah, that's a no." I sigh. "Wait a minute. Did she say annotated by Brittany?"

* * *

I'm going crazy. My brain is in a manic state of rewinding and playing in slow motion everything that could go wrong right now. I've already thrown up about seven times since I've woken up and discovered that AlphaSlushie left for the run. _The_ run; The run that would allow Rachel and Quinn to play doctor on a disgusting, rotting corpse. A corpse that could very much turn them into.. that. I can't fucking handle it. I had every intention of stopping them or hiding in the duffle bags. I even slashed their tires last night. I don't even know how they've managed to continue this.

It's been three hours.

_["It's just..She's insane. I swear she's gone completely off her rocker. I love her, but I need you to help me."]_ I'm desperate. I feel like I've lost control. I look into pretty green eyes and I swear she understands me.

_["And, Q... Sometimes I get this serial killer vibe from her. Sometimes I think she's like a lion or something. The way she used to eat bacon with some sort of bliss covering her face. I felt like I was intruding on an intimate moment. Shit was awkward. Oh shit."]_ Damn, I did it get again. _["Sorry, I meant to say shizz. Shizz was awkward."]_

I get a letter block thrown at me. Ouch. _["Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said your mommy has serial killer vibes."]_

God, I'm talking to a baby. I can't help it if she's the best listener. Oh, she just did a fist pump!

_["You and me, Beth? I think we're the most sane ones here."]_ Beth coos at me. This kid loves me. I lean down and kiss her fat cheeks. She still has a nice baby smell when she doesn't have to be changed.

"Gah!"

_["I know, right? How dare they leave without me?"]_

"Momomomomom"

_["Remember our plan, okay, Bethy? Throw up on Quinn when you hear them getting ready in the mornings. That'll slow them down."]_

"Santana?"

I look up from my sitting position on the couch and see Shelby with a bowl of some baby food.

"Hey. Any word?"

She walks toward me hesitantly. "No, nothing yet. Were you just having a conversation with my daughter in Spanish?"

I was speaking Spanish? I haven't done that in forever. I only resort to that unknowingly when I'm stressed. Or coming. I wish it were the latter because that'd mean my hobbit was here.

I just shrug and hand Beth to Shelby when she puts the bowl down.

"See ya later, Bethy."

* * *

I see them! I see them in a vehicle I haven't seen before. For a second I think it's a group of raiders or something, but I see Puck's head sticking out, and it looks like he's heaving.

Mike stops the car about twenty yards from the porch and Puck just throws the door open, carrying a garbage bag. He's holding it out as far away from his body as he can, still gagging.

I just run passed him. "Rachel?"

Where is she?

"Quinn, where's Rachel?"

"She's fine, S. She's a little queasy at the moment. She's been dry heaving the whole way back. So, she's laying down."

I open the back door of the truck. She's laying down with her head facing downward.

"Oh god, Santana. It was horrible. That was probably the most vile thing I've ever had the displeasure of doing. It smells so bad."

I hop in the car and motion her for her rest her head on my lap. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"I fear I am traumatized. I need to go through some sort of sterilization process before I kiss you."

"Did you get something on your mouth, Rach?" Oh god.

She shakes her head and I run my fingers through her hair.

"I just feel so dirty," she whispers as she sits up. "Quinn and I used a small hand axe to chop off a piece of leg and then we opened up the head for the brain. It was all goo, Santana! When we killed it, it was too easy. We got an old one that had been wearing thin. Mike just tripped it with his bat and his whole leg muscle melted off."

Ew. I gag.

"Puck wanted to just peel off the tissue we needed, but I need to study the bone. So we chopped."

_Please, stop._

"..and its jaw just…plopped down when it landed on the ground." She is lamenting. "He was the 'freshest' one we could find. I think they're all dying. We aren't as populated as other areas. A few were just on the ground, opening their mouths and closing them continuously.

"I'm sure they'll be more fresh ones soon, baby. I'm sure we're going to get new bodies when they come from the bigger cities and stuff." Jesus Christ, I'm soothing her by telling her there will be _more_ of them. "Next time, you have to promise me I go with you."

She nods.

Something is off. She won't look at me.

"Rach? What aren't you telling me?"

Then I hear it. A whine of some sort and some scratching.

"You're going to be mad. But I have a speech prepared-"

A tiny bark interrupts.

"Is that a puppy I hear?"

"Yes, and I feel it'll be very beneficial. His name is Winchester. I found him alone in the grocery mart this morning before getting the good. San, he was so scared! I couldn't leave him!"

The hobbit pouts and goddamnit. I know I lost. I sigh and pull her into me. "Only if you kiss me."

Finally. I capture her lips and she deepens it with desperation.

Winchester barks and we pull apart at his whining. God, he is a cockblock already.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: This might be considered rate M territory in this chapter._

* * *

"Stop yapping at me! God, you're just as loud as your mother." He's kind of adorable. I'm not sure how to really soothe a puppy so I offer a few pats on his head. "You're not as cute as she is, so your puppy dog eyes won't work with me."

It was time for his first bath. God knows what he got into out there. I shiver a little because _what did he eat_? He's a little skinny so I can't imagine there were many choices.

When Rachel first brought him into the house everyone awed and passed him around. Brittany was absolutely delighted and clung to him for an hour before she told me he smelled like bologna.

"I know Rachel said you wouldn't turn into a zombie-dog because _'not many things are transmittable cross-species, Santana,' _but I'm keeping my eye on you, Winchester. By the way, that is a dorky name. If we were still living in a proper world I bet you'd have tiny, argyle puppy vests." Argyle owner and argyle nerdy puppy. This thing would be Rachel in dog form. He is cute and he gives me fuzzy feelings, but no one needs to know that.

"I'm sorry, but you're going to smell like bubble gum for a while." Would-be argyle wearing and bubblegum smelling Winchester- This poor dog. We don't have dog shampoo, but Britts gave me Lord Tubbington's shampoo.

He's still squirming and still making tiny barks. The make-shift tub is filled with warm-enough water. I put him down into it. He seems to like it.

"I can't believe we're wasting water to wash this thing."

The weather is nice enough, if not just a little windy. At least the critter won't freeze to death. I look out into the countryside that surrounds us. Luckily, Rachel's mansion is far enough away from the town that we have plenty of acres around the house. Being atop a high hillside has its advantages, too. From the corner of my eye I see a figure bouncing giddily towards me.

It's Rachel. Once she is within twenty feet I can see that she's chewing on her bottom lip with a mischievous sparkle in her pretty brown eyes.

"Hey, short-stuff."

"Hello, San. How's the bath coming along?"

He's a squirmy little shit, and he's getting his dirty puppy water all over my jeans.

"It's fine. He's a little wiggly. Why do you look like you're about to do something obnoxious?"

She frowns a little, realizing her supposed nonchalance is easy to see through.

"What makes you think that? I've done nothing of the sort."

I lift my eyebrow, amused that she's going this route. "Really? So the reason your hands are behind your back is…"

"Maybe I just came over because I missed your presence and snark." She huffs.

Doubtful. I know that look.

"Okay," she breaks. She pulls her hands out from behind her back and..holy shit.

"Kurt made this per my request. Isn't it cute?!"

"Rach.. It's an argyle sweater. For the freaking puppy." God. I was just kidding!

"You don't like it?" She looks so dejected. Fuck.

"No, no. It's really adorable and so you. I'm sure Winchester will love it, too."

"I know you're lying. Regardless, I'm sure Winchester loves it. Don't you baby boy?"

I think Rachel's secondary storage threw-up in the ballroom. The worst part of it is I _helped_. It cannot be helped that my girlfriend loves pink and glitter and everything else that makes me want to vomit. Seriously, I love the girl, but she does everything overboard, especially when it comes to things that would reflect her rise to stardom, meaning everything that shines. Sometimes I get so mad that she'll never get to be on Broadway now; all the flesh-eating goons are most likely rotting on the stages. It should be Rachel up there (a very much alive Rachel).

Kurt is a godsend. The decorations and fake theaters (made from curtains) with playbills carefully placed on them almost looked like Broadway. You wouldn't believe how many things just glitter. There are fuzzy things hanging, too.

And you know what? It's all worth it. I mean, who cares if I go blind by the yellows and reflections and the pink? The smile on Rachel's face is the prettiest thing in this world. The dress she's wearing is gorgeous and for a moment I am reminded of princess Jasmine. It's long and has a small train in the back.

"This is wonderful, San!" Brown doe-eyes shine with unshed tears. Happy tears.

"Every girl deserves a prom night with a hot date like me." I lean down and kiss her lips softly. "You look absolutely breathtaking, baby."

Rachel is one of the most confident girls in the whole world. She's kept her head held high through years of torture, torture that I delivered. But sometimes she gives this shy smile and ducks her head slightly; it kills me just. Like right now – she's doing that shy smile right now and I'm reminded why it's my favorite.

"Rachel Berry, are you speechless?" I pull her close and feel her arms circle around me neck. Even in heels, she is still shorter than I am. My mouth is close to her ear and I whisper, "I love you."

She visibly shivers and presses her body closer and squeezes me. Yeah, she loves me, too.

"I love you more than I could ever love any stage."

Maybe I shouldn't have had those glasses of wine, because right now I am about to burst into tears. God, she's so adorable. And she _loves _me. Rachel Berry loves _me_. I pull back a little so I can get a look at her face and I'm struck breathless again.

And then.

Those _lips_.

So I do the only thing I can think of – kiss her with everything I can. All my molecules are bouncing around at the taste of my girl.

And shit, is it raining?

"Baby? It-it's raining. I can't have my-my princess all soaked. Because, you're so preeetttyyyy."

"Santana, it's not raining. We're inside."

"Whaa?"

"It's not raining. You're crying."

My shoulders are shaking. She lifts my chin up. "Happy tears?"

I nod. I don't trust my mouth right now.

Suddenly, I hear Brittany.

"Hi, everyone. Thank you for joining me at our own end-of-the-world prom. I'm Brittany S. Pierce and even though I'm totally the hottest one here, I just want to say that you all look super yummy. Now, before I announce the prom king and queen, I am going to ask that you sign my petition for Finn to stop kicking the chairs."

Britt walks over to Tina, who looks fucking bewildered, and hands her a crayon and a clipboard.

"I'd like to introduce to you the world prom queen, Beth Corcoran!"

Quinn, who's holding Beth, starts tearing up as she takes the little tot to the stage. Kurt made a cute little dress with the nice curtains from Rachel's dads' room.

"I think I really deserve this next announcement. I am going to name myself end-of-the-world prom king, because I would totally make a better dude than any of you."

Brittany takes her flower crowns and puts them on both her and Beth's head.

Artie starts the music from the iPod hooked up. We do try to save our electricity, especially since gas is starting to get hard to find, but this time it is worth it.

The iPod is playing top forty music, or what was in the top forty before everything went to shit.

I'm trying not to let Finn's obvious ogling direct at _my_ girlfriend. Brittany stole her for a dance and freaking Fabray is leering from over Puck's shoulder. Seriously!? Why are they trying to get up on my shorty? I take a swig of water (I don't want to get completely trashed) and walk over to my two favorite girls dancing. Britts and I sandwich Rachel and hands are roaming all over the place.

Five minutes have passed and we're still dancing. I don't think I can take much more of anyone else's hands on her.

"Sorry, Britt-britt. I gotta get my Berry fix."

It's so loud. Thank God the ballroom is soundproof, too. Everyone is dancing or wheeling.

"You look so good out there," I say loudly.

"What?" I think she just asked what, but it's too loud.

I drag her across the room to a table and sit her down.

"I said you look so good out there, dancing." Learning down, I take her lips in mine and she does this thing with her teeth and tongue that she _knows _is my weakness. My downfall.

"Shit." This is delicious. "Let's go upstairs."

Taking her lip in between her teeth, she smirks and shakes her head.

"But I need you. Now."

"I want you, too. We'll get to that later. At this moment in time, Santana, I want to get the most out of this experience. I do not wish to leave this room and miss a second of it. You know very w-" She gasps. "Wh-what a-are you doing?"

"Shhh. As much as I love your pretty little, mouth, I'm trying to get my mack on." Her neck is so tasty. The spot behind her ear and downward an inch is where she comes undone. It's my favorite spot right now.

"You're not playing fair." As she pants lightly, the cutest little whimper escapes her.

"Trust me, baby; you don't want to talk fair." Delivering a lick against her neck, I decide to do something she'll probably scold me for tomorrow. "Do you think it was fair when you told me you wanted to 'help' the Ice Queen?"

Rachel's body stills. I want to assure her I'm not mad right now, so I nuzzle her neck.

"You've done something bad, Rach. You're mine. And I'm going to remind you of that."

Taking a quick glance around, I notice that everyone isn't paying attention to us. Why would they, really? We're just talking. For now.

I duck under the table and lift Rachel's dress up and slip underneath. It's loose enough that no one would be the wiser should they glance our way.

"Santana!" Rachel hisses. "Get out from there! This is highly inappropriate."

"Uh huh." It's pretty dark and I can't really see anything. It doesn't matter anyway, I know her body more than I know my own. My hands find her legs and my fingertips ghost over her calves. I have worshiped these legs like they were the second coming. I can tell her resolve is already slipping because she doesn't stop me from putting distance between her knees. I want nothing more than to tease her, but we're not exactly given all the time in the ballroom. My lack of patience coupled with the combined ogles of Finn and Quinn has me, literally at my knees, just aching to take what's mine.

"I-I don't…I don't think this..oh god."

The dancing must have worked her up because she's squirming beneath my touches and I haven't really done anything yet. Her skin is crazy soft, and I can't help but rub my cheek along her inner thigh. I almost buckle onto the floor when the smell of her, _of Rachel_, hits my senses.

"Jesus _Christ_, Rach." I can feel her muscles tense a little as I start kissing up her inner thighs, paying equal attention to both. The pads of my fingertips skate circles as they move upwards and back down again. I feel her buck her hips up just a little bit, enough to get her message across.

I can't help but chuckle. I'm not the only one impatient. I figure someone is going to want to come over to chat or something, so I need to hurry this along. The angle is a little difficult because my head is so damn close to the table, so she has to kind of lean back. We've done this position before, but that was without a table above and definitely without an unknowing audience.

I manage to find the most effective position, and though I can't see her I know she's got a pout, waiting for me to start. I'm not one to disappoint, so I lightly graze my fingers over her panties. I can tell by the tiny bow at the top that she's wearing her hot pink underwear with tiny microphones on it. Normally, I'd giggle at the ridiculous of it because it's so Rachel, but it only serves in making me want her more, urging me on to just_ fucking take her already._

"Hey, Rach. Do you want to dance?"

NO. NO. FUCK. GO AWAY. It's that buzzkill Hudson. What a cockblock.

"Hmm? Uh.. n-no. I ..ah.. "

"Come on, Rach. It'll be like old times. I mean, it's just a dance, right?"

Bullshit. Don't fall for that. It'll mean something to him and then he'll think he has a chance.

Jesus, I'm so close to such an intimate part of her. Fuck it.

"No. I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea."

My fingers trail from the top of her panties to her left side, outlining the edges. I hear a distinct gasp from her as I swipe the cloth aside. I want nothing more than to have Finn to just leave already, but I also am not going to be able to stop myself now. She's perfect. Every part of her is perfect.

"Rach, are you okay?" I hear the boy ask.

I rub the bottom of my thumb up and down through her soft flesh and press a little firmer against her clit.

"Ah!"

"Rachel?

"Hm.. I..cramps.. sorry." Her words are breathed out and stilted.

I somehow manage to scoot further under her dress and finally hover an inch above the apex of her thighs. As always, I plant a small kiss on her clit before giving the length of her slit a few long licks with the flat of my tongue.

She lets out something between a strangled moan and a gasp.

"Um. You mean like girl stuff?"

I almost chuckle against her, but instead I give her a flick from the edge of my tongue.

"Yes-yes. You …could..saythat."

"Okay. Well, I hope you feel better. See you around."

Finally.

Now that I have her all to myself again, I lift her legs above me and place them over my shoulder, her heels digging into my back. She bucks again and I am more than willing to speed this up. Her urgency is conveyed more so as she digs her heels in further.

Not wanting to waste anymore time (I'll make love to her hours on end later), I give one more long lick before swirling my tongue around the spot she needs me the most. Knowing she wants to, needs to cum soon, I take the bundle of nerves between my lips and allow myself the one second to just revel the situation. Beautiful parts of Rachel trickle throughout her body and land in this gorgeous spot for me to directly affect. Mine.

And, fucking hell she tastes amazing. A few noises build up in my own throat as I lap up what she's giving me, and finally I take her clit into my mouth and suckle. My tongue is rolling in waves against the sides in and creating a light suction on its way upward, a combination that drives her crazy. My actions are appreciated and the body surrounding me is starting to gyrate against my face.

"Rachel, are you okay?"

Can't we get a break? Goddamnit, Fabray.

Rachel replies with a "Uh?"

I know by now that making Rachel Berry be quiet is near impossible, especially when it comes to the bedroom. If I am guessing, Rachel's is clenching her eyes so tight underneath her furrowed eyebrows. With her trying to be quiet, there is no doubt she is biting her lower lip in attempt to keep in any cries of pleasure.

"Finn said you weren't feeling well. You're kind of flushed, do you need anything?"

I feel her thighs start to shake.

"I'm..fine.."

"Where's Santana? Did she get you something to drink or do you want me to get one for you?

Heels dig further into my back and it jolts me further into her, cutting off my airflow.

Rachel mewls and it's so sexy.

"Sh-sh..she's..busy.." She's panting and I can't believe Quinn hasn't figured it out yet.

"What?" Q sounds a little angry. "She left you here on our prom night? Unbelievable!"

"N-n..o..shit!"

I can't really breathe, but there's no way I'm stopping. I need to get her off before I die here. I maneuver my arms so they are the proper angle and wedge my hand beneath my chin. She's so incredibly wet that my two fingers glide in easy, yet she's still so fucking tight.

"Fuck."

"I'd be mad, too!"

I'm determined. I don't have much leverage, so I can't quite deliver long thrusts, so I opt for scissoring my fingers inside her until I reach the spot that makes her let out a long moan. Rachel scoots backwards a bit, giving me a few inches of the chair between her legs. I now have the leverage to work my wrists to thrust upward. Tan thighs squeeze my head as she trembles as I curl my fingers with each inward stroke.

Loud and unbelievably arousing sounds escape her mouth in a series of strangled moans and whimpers.

"OH, FUCK, SANTANAAA!"!

My fingers stay inside her, gently massaging until her breathing slows considerably.

Breathing is becoming a serious issue. I crawl out rather ungracefully and struggle to stand properly against my girlfriend.

Quinn is still there. Her mouth is agape and she's beet red.

Fuck, she's still here?

Rachel is sporting a lazy smile that I cover with a smug kiss.

I take another glance at blondie and note her fists clenched. Deciding that, yes, I still need to let her know that Rachel is mine, I take my fingers and suck them very, very slow.

* * *

_Up next: Zombies invade Berry Manor_


End file.
